No one but myself.

The walls are closing in and I’m having a hard time breathing—when did the walls suddenly get so close? When did people start looking down on you when you weren’t exactly like them? It’s hard to live up to the expectations set by the media, your family, everyone. I always thought life was this carefree experience that was meant to teach you lessons that would later be useful in your future, not all these tid bit things that don’t really matter in the long run. We all focus on these negative moments, not realizing that years from now we may not even remember all these moments we categorized as horrible. But it’s hard not to think about it isn’t it? With all the cynicism, it’s hard not to see the dark. It’s hard to live up to the high expectations that are placed on our shoulders; hard to ignore the whispers of stress and anxiety. Let’s face it, it’s hard to fight against pressure—against yourself, but you have to keep breathing. You have to dig yourself out of the rut. You have to keep fighting.

Lurking thoughts

Lurking thoughts in the back of our minds, we all have them. We may not be very quick to admit to them but we do. Whether they’re fears or desires, these little beasts emerge from the deep crevices within our mind. They only seem to appear when we’re alone to think, when we’re vulnerable, when our optimism starts to falter.

What has become of us? To even let these thoughts have a chance to consume us in our selfish, envious or doubtful ways seems out of the question and yet it proceeds. Our deepest and darkest desires and fears are revealed only to ourselves, never to be publicly announced to the ones we love or care about. Why? Because the confusion soon wraps around the mind, not knowing where to even begin within an explanation that can be so simplistic because the mind over complicates it. You over complicate it, I over complicate it.

So here we are, playing a game of chess. The only catch is that no one really wins, because how can we win when we’re really playing against ourselves?